Masculinity is invariably toxic concept that has absolutely nothing positive to offer the world.
Im so done with being used by men and using them in return. Its an endless regurgitive cycle of fleeting ecstacy, heightened despair and artificial joy. Im done with guys who text me only when they feel like putting their cock in some hole. All of the night stands meditated through grindr the morning after. Dazed and puffing on one too many cigarettes. Their cum still in my ass. The regret and absence of intimacy, the text me’s and call me back’s. Their disappointment when I dont comply to their wishes and desire and the guilt I feel for not being a complete object of desire. The way how they are too rough and the way I endure pain which has no end insight. Latching on to each other in that milisecond of elysium. The way I put my legs around his back and how his whole weight of being is thrusted upon me. The regret the regret the regret. I never learn or remember their names, I don’t bother to anyway. Makes things easier, after. But does it really? The lack of reciprocation. And ultimately, the void of love in these acts of eros.
I totally get the allure of aphex twin now